Don't Bother
by sas.90
Summary: Paige Matthews experiences the worst sexual encounter of her entire lovelife and while at it her thoughts keep wandering off. Just an idea that popped into my head when I was bored. R&R. Oneshot.


**Paige Matthews experiences the worst sexual encounter of her entire lovelife and while at it her thoughts keep wandering off. Just an idea that popped into my head when I was bored. R&R. Oneshot.**

**Notes; This is what happens when Saskia gets extremely bored in her english class. Just a short story about Paige's thoughts when she's sleeping with a guy. I didn't think it was necessary to rate this story 'M', because it's not all too detailed. So if you don't like reading these kind of stories then don't. And if you get your thrills from reading hot sex stories.. well whatever tickles your pickle, but this ain't one of them. Anyway...hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer; I obviously do not own Charmed.  
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**Don't Bother. **

_God. If he slows down any more I'm gonna fall asleep._The small brunette Paige Matthews thought to herself. She was in her bedroom, lying on her bed. Obviously naked. On top of her was a cute guy, also naked, making love to her.

_Well love.._Paige thought. _If this is making love then I might as well become an old spinster who is against sex and has 6 cats. _

''Oh Paige.'' Marc murmered against the skin of her neck as his lips started to make a trail of butterfly kisses. _How can he 'Oh Paige' me? I'm not even doing anything. I so want to be him at the moment. _Paige bit her lower lip and ran her hand down Marc's back absent-mindedly. _How long have we been doing this? I bet even Cole could satisfy me better..and faster. Wait a minute, why am I thinking of my ex brother-in-law in situations like this? _She shifted slightly underneath Marc's body and kissed back as he pushed his lips against hers hungrily. She opened her eyes when he tongue slipped through her lips and the kiss grew more passionate. _Hello Mister Goldfish. What are you looking for in there? _She thought to herself as she desperately tried not to burst out in laughing. She kissed back gently in an attempt to slow his hungry kissing down, but it was useless. _Did anyone NOT teach him how to kiss? _She let out a small sigh of relief when Marc broke the kiss.

Apparently he took that as a compliment, because he flashed her a wide grin. Paige gave him a half-hearted smile back. _How the hell did we end up here? _She wondered. _Oh right I remember. _Earlier that night Paige had been out clubbing. In some club where she had never been before, she had met Marc and he had managed to charm her with some good pick-up lines.

_Next time he should just stick to the pick-up lines. _Paige thought to herself when Marc started to nibble on her ear lightly. _No. Will somebody please give him a map and a compass? Or even better, let his mother get seriously ill. No not that bad, bad Paige you're supposed to be a good whitelighter. Don't think that kind of mean things. Just let her die so she doesn't suffer as much. _She closed her eyes and faked a slight moan, motivating Marc to start some more serious nibbling.

_Well if I didn't have problems with Dave a few years ago, I will certainly have them now. _She thought and her eyes snapped open when she heard a disgusting sound. The worst thing a guy can do when you're being intimate. He farted. ''Sorry must be because you turn me on so much.'' He murmered and kissed her shoulder softly. _What the hell. Sorry? Okay, that's it. There's no other way out. _She put her hand on Marc's arm and faked her orgasm, not that he would he would notice any difference. From her experience guys never did. ''Finally.'' She mumbled under her breath when Marc moved himself off of her body.

She let a deep sigh escape from her mouth and pulled the covers over her body. ''I know. That was amazing, Paige.'' Marc breathed heavily. Paige chuckled and shifted onto her side so that she faced him. Marc smiled and put his hand on her cheek, ''Are you up for a round 2?'' he asked her, winking slightly. _Damn it. _Paige quickly tried to come up with a good excuse. ''Well Marc. See, I'm really tired.. and you have that shift in a couple of hours, you need to be fit for it.'' She yawned slightly to prove her point. ''Hmm. I guess you're right.'' Marc kissed her cheek softly and got to his feet. _My fantasies about firemen are ruined forever. _Paige pouted slightly.

''Oh don't worry Paige. You can always call me.'' He told her as he pulled his shirt on. Paige laughed slightly, ''I will.'' _If I'm ever not able to fall asleep then I'll call you, yeah. Fat Chance. _She watched him picking up his jacket.

''Aren't you going to walk me to the front door?'' he smiled. _Well, I hadn't planned it. _Paige thought. _But if I must. _''Sure, if you can hand me my dressing down.'' She replied as she sat up. Marc nodded and tossed her silky blue dressing gown onto the bed.

Paige got to her feet and pulled it on quickly, tying the rope loosely around her waist. ''Okay, lets get you out of here.'' She said walking over to the bedroom door. _And fast please. _She and Marc made their way down the stairs and Paige opened the front door for him. ''Well, it's been a pleasure - '' _Not. _'' - and umm.. good luck at your shift.'' She looked up at him and quickly turned her head when he lowered his head to kiss her lips, now, in stead he kissed her cheek. ''You've got my number.'' He said grinning.

_And I'm going to burn it the minute you walk out of that door. _Paige smiled back and closed the door when he finally left.

''Thank you.'' She said out loud, leaning back against the wooden door and closing her eyes. ''That bad sis?'' Piper, Paige's oldest sister walked into the hall way, scooping some chocolate fudge ice-cream out of the rube that she was holding. ''Please, that was the worst sex I've ever had. I had to fake everything and he farted.'' Paige let out a sigh and walked over to her sister who was not able to hide her grin. ''Hmm. Weird. I actually never have that problem. Maybe because I'm married to such a great guy and I do not pick up firemen at a bar I've never been before.'' Piper said, eating the ice-cream off her spoon and causing Paige to narrow her chocolate brown eyes at her. _She knows way too much about me. It's scary. _''Evil.'' The youngest complained. '"Too bad Glen's married. I could've phoned him. Hmm maybe I'll just summon Mr. Right again, he was quite good in bed.'' She thought out loud.

''No!'' Piper nearly dropped her tube of ice-cream at that comment. The last time her baby-sister had summoned Mr. Right, she had also accidently released Mr. Wrong. That had been bad.

Paige laughed, ''Relax Piper, I was only kidding. Anyway I'm gonna take a shower I don't feel so clean really. Ciao.'' She smiled and made her way back up the staircase. ''Well yeah, if he farted.'' Piper giggled at her own little joke and made her way back into the livingroom.

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**Notes; Meh. I know it ain't long, but I've got 2 very good excuses. 1.) I only had 65 minutes for this and 2.) I had to hand-write it first and that takes longer so Ner. Anyway, Let me know if you liked. Too detailed? Review please they make me a happy little dutch girl. xxx**


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